UNDERSTANDING ONE ANOTHER – celebrating the differences

In families, each one has a unique personality; each member born with his own peculiarities and temperament, and by examining our own and other family member’s strengths and areas for growth, is the first step towards understanding one another, and begin to celebrate our differences.

When people anger or irritate us, we find ourselves wondering, “why can’t they just be quiet for once?” Our differing personalities are often a major source of conflict, but once we begin understanding one another, we can use that information to understand people better and as a result, our buttons get pushed less and less. The personality differences are still there, but our interpretation of them changes, because instead of being negative about behavior that is different than ours, we start to understand how that behavior makes sense from another’s perspective.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…" (Jeremiah 1:5). When we understand that God created different personalities to make the world an interesting place, understanding one another becomes more challenging and exciting.

The different personalities:

• Sanguines: Always looking for fun and games, they draw the crowds, they are the cheerleaders, the life of the party. Sanguines are enthusiastic and expressive.

• Cholerics move the world! The powerful choleric knows everything will turn out right as long as he is in charge, and is strong-willed and decisive.

• Melancholies are serious and reliable. While they are deep thinkers and analyze everything, they are born pessimists.

• Phlegmatics are the closest thing to a balanced person. God created peaceful Phlegmatics as special people to be the buffers for the emotions of the other three, to provide stability and balance.

Not understanding one another is bad enough, but the lack of communication that accompanies this can further aggravate the problem. At FamilyLife we help churches to take steps to prevent family relationships from reaching a state of crisis, and to revive those already in distress.