RELATIONSHIPS
IN MARRIAGE
Isolde Swanepoel
The quality of our relationships will
to a very great extent determine our quality of life!
How fulfilled and happy we are in life is determined
mainly by how fulfilled and happy we are in our relationships.
God created man (and woman) to be in
relationship with Him and with another person and He
placed them in a universe where everything exists in
relation to something else! God Himself exists within
the Trinity - a mysterious relationship - but the fact
that our God is a Relational God makes Him unique! Each
one of us was created with a deep need to be understood
and loved by at least one other person.
We all know history's course of events
after the fall. Relationship between God and man and
man and woman was broken. From that point up to Christ's
crucifixion, resurrection, ascension and right to the
end of the Bible, God's plan was the RESTORATION of
RELATIONSHIP - our relationship with Him as well as
our human relationships so that we could experience
life to the fullest and bring Him pleasure.
It is sad that we often lose sight of
these facts with the result that we become so busy 'living
life' and surviving that we push aside the most important
aspect of our existence. We invest a lot of money and
time in the financial markets and other activities while
we omit investing in our marriage and family relationships!
How do you develop your marriage relationship?:
- At the core of a fulfilling marriage
relationship lies unselfish love which leads to positive
and edifying communication.
- Meaningful communication is impossible
if we don't spend quality time together (quality time
= quantity time). This is true for both marriage and
parenting.
- Meaningful communication requires
UNDERSTANDING. Understanding comes as we start dropping
our masks and being open with our partners - this
can only take place when there is unconditional acceptance
of each other!
- To understand one another we have
to learn how to listen without the filters of prejudice
and preconceived notions. "Because I love you
I want to hear your truth."
- But then it is also important to
talk in such a way that our listeners will be able
to hear a clear, constructive message. "Because
I love you I want to tell you my truth." Always
ask yourself the question 'will what I want to say
build or break the relationship?'
- Without mutual forgiveness when we
mess up and reverse the order of James' admonition
"to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow
to become angry"(James 1:19), relationships cannot
function properly. Ruth Graham, Billy's wife said
"a good marriage is a union of two forgivers"
Because our God is concerned about our
relationships He did not leave us to struggle on our
own. Through Jesus Christ He not only made it possible
for us to have an intimate relationship with Him, but
He gave us his Spirit to empower us to act differently
and to experience fulfilling relationships in our marriages
and families! Go to How To Know God Personally for more
on a relationship with God.
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