THE FOUNDATION OF COMMUNICATION - Understanding

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked. "Do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yes, I've got about 140 hectares."The attorney said: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer replied. "No, I don't have a Case but I do have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand! Do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yes, I have a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer says, "No sir, we both get up at 4:30." Finally the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!!" Clearly very little understanding in the farmer’s communication!

Dr DAVID AUGSBERGER summed it up well when he said "I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you are aware that what you heard is not what I meant."

To be understood is important not only for good relationships it is important to one's well-being. Dr Paul Tournier said the following "It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood. No one can develop freely in this world without being understood by at least one other person. Listen to the conversations of this world, between nations as well as those between couples. They are for the most part dialogues of the deaf."

For us as marriage partners it is of the utmost importance to understand and be understood. Unfortunately it is easier said than done as many issues come into play where this is concerned. For further discussion of this topic go to Pre-requisites of Good Communication

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